137 129 "Daikirai" for only one person





 Today, just past the middle of November, came the day we had to deliver to the South family.

 We continued to compare the materials until the date changed so that we could decide on a new house on tomorrow's day off, but we had to conclude that we wouldn't be able to decide on anything until we saw the actual room.
 So, as usual, I'm still fatigued, but fortunately, I haven't made any mistakes that would interfere with my work.
 After this, I should be able to hold on to it as long as Amana can heal me.

 Last time, Amana-chan easily spotted me, but this time I'll make an expression so that she won't find out.

 I take out the styrofoam box containing the ingredients from the back of the truck.

''Guh........''

 But the feeling of weight that you should be accustomed to hanging on your hands makes your whole body scream with this.

 I'm not sure if it's this heavy or not...?

 I knew right away the cause.
 I'm pretty sure it's because of fatigue from day after day.

 But so what. 
 They say that sickness starts with the mind, and as long as you have the right mind, you can manage this.

 I'll be fine...I'll be fine.

 After putting all my energy into it, I carried my bags to room 184 and pressed the intercom.

''Yes!''
"...Hello. This is Umineko Transport.
"I'm coming, sir!

 Not long after the light sound effect sounded, Amana's cheerful voice echoed from the speakers.

 Don't let me worry you, make sure you smile, me........!

 The front door is opened at the same time as I gulp hard in my dry throat.

'Always a very good time, Onii-san!
Thank you, Amana-chan.

 I greet Amana-chan, who smiles as if the other day never happened, and we exchange greetings with a mask of a smile on her face.

 Is she smiling properly?
 No, you have to be able to.
 Any weakness, any vulnerability, and you're putting yourself in unnecessary danger again.

"Well, do you mind putting your stamp on this?
Yes.

 He asks for a receipt stamp while supporting the core, which is so weak that it seems like a cracked wooden stick.
 I make sure it's stamped firmly and place the package by the front door.

 My hands are finally freed from the heavy luggage, but I endure a sigh, not to mention a lack of sighs and tallness. 

'Onii-san,'
Hmm? What's wrong with you?

 To me, who was desperately trying to patch things up, Amana was looking at me with an uncharacteristically thoughtful gaze.

 .........no way, she found out?

 A cold sweat runs down my spine.
 Because otherwise, she wouldn't have this look on her face.

 I asked him back as usual, but I couldn't let the question come out of my mouth beyond that.
 In an attempt to reassure her, I bent my knees to meet her eye level and pet her little head.

'Hmph, Onii-san?'

 Perhaps she was surprised at the sudden stroking, but a hint of confusion could be seen on Amana's face that would normally make her happy.
 While apologizing for hiding things from her mind, she turned to the smile she had forced herself to create.

''Don't worry about it, you don't have to worry. Look, I have to get my school homework done as soon as possible, okay?

 It was a blatant distraction from the topic, but I couldn't think of anything more to say in my exhausted and sleepy mind, which was nearing its limits.
 Please, go back to your room like I said, I was about to let go of even the healing from Amana-chan that I should have been asking for so much.

 But.....

'No! Because you're having a harder time than you did before!
I...

 The little girl refused such a wish.
 And, as is natural, she was able to see through the fatigue that had accumulated from before.

 I felt as if the core of my broken heart made a small tinkling sound, but I quickly shook it off as an auditory hallucination.

''Ho, I'm really okay! Like this.....................

 I tried to stand up and try to force myself to stand up as quickly as possible, if I couldn't understand the words, but I lost my balance faster than that due to the dizziness of standing.
 I managed to keep my back against the fence behind me and managed to avoid falling.
 However, it was a critical gap that highlighted the fatigue that she had been mending and hiding.

 Amana-chan turns her face to the side of me, looking as if she is about to cry and comes running to my side.

'That's not a big deal! Onii-san, how can you lie to me like that!
No.... I didn't want to worry you, Amana-chan...
"I'm tired and I don't want to be treated like an a**h*le! Did you lie to me because you're a child, Onii-san?
No! This is what I deserve and I have to work even if I'm tired so I have to go to my next delivery...

 In the end, I realized that not only had I caused her unnecessary worry, but that hiding my fatigue had hurt her as well.

 But it wasn't because she was a child that she hid it.
 It was simply out of selfishness, not wanting to worry her.
 That's why she doesn't want to make you feel any more uneasy, so she uses work as an excuse to end the conversation.

 But Amana-chan wouldn't allow it.

"──d*mn it!
I...

 He showed his resistance by clinging to me with his little body to keep me from walking away.

'You can't do this, you can't do this to me! I don't want you to be bored! I don't want to do anything that isn't kind to you, man!

 It was an appeal from a little girl who thought more of me than anyone else.
 I know there are people who need me to go to work.
 But instead of someone whose face and name I didn't know, she screamed for me to not go, thinking only of me in front of her.

 It might be easy to shake it off because of the age and size difference.
 But I couldn't help but move at the thought of forcing him to pull away and injure him.

'Onii-san is gushy, he's nice to everyone, but hiccup, why isn't he nice to you, Onii-san? I don't want you to be the only one having a hard time..........
Oh, Amana-chan....

 I'm not sure what to say to Amana-chan as she cries the tears she's been holding back at last.
 My heart tightens in my chest at the stupidity of my own stupidity.

 I'm the one who made the girl I least wanted to make cry shed these heartbreaking tears, no one else.
 How could the person who caused it come up with the words to stop crying?

 I was so confused that I couldn't do anything about it....

''Tenna! What's the matter with you crying so much!
''Oh, Amani........''

 Amanashi, on her way home from work, appeared in a panic, probably because she heard her daughter crying.
 As soon as she sees Amana and me, she comes crowding in with a lightning-like anger in her lapis lazuli eyes.

'What on earth is the situation with Tenna clinging to Kazu-san and crying...?' 
Yeah, well...
Mom, please! Mum, tell your mum not to tell your mum what to do!
What?

 Amanashi is indignant, as if her hand is about to come out of her hand, but as she chooses the words to explain, Amana recognizes her mother and cries out to her.
 She doesn't know what's going on, but she reveals her surprise at the content.

 It would be.
 It's hard to guess at a glance that the reason your daughter is clinging to the working world is to keep her from going to work.

 Amari, whose agitation has not yet cooled down, stares at me silently with her gaze fixed on me.
 Eventually, she sighs heavily and opens her mouth with a cold gaze. 

''──........I don't really know how that happened, but.......Wa-san. As I recall, tomorrow was your day off, right?
Oh, well...

 While I was relieved that he didn't ask me what happened, I nodded my head in confusion, unable to read the intent of the question.
 The only reason Amari knows about my shift is to give me my lunch every morning, but why did she ask again?

 When my doubts were not cleared, she suddenly smiled at me and smiled at me.......

''Then please come over here tomorrow around ten o'clock.
What?

 I'm astonished by the sudden invitation.
 I seriously don't know why he said that all of a sudden.

 But, unfortunately, I have plans to look for a new house tomorrow.
 I can't tell you directly, but I have no choice but to say no on the grounds that I have things to do.

If you refuse, I'll report you to the police right now, okay?
I'll go! Please let me go!

 Because of the threats issued with maximum power, I reflexively respond in agreement.

 If they call the police while Amana is crying and clinging to her, she's out for one shot.
 Yeah, it's impossible, there's no way I can say no.

 After hearing my answer, Amari nodded as if to say good, and then pulled Amana-chan, who was still attached to her, off her feet.

'Mom! Get off me! Onii-san is going to go to work!
''I understand how you feel, but that's a nuisance to Wa-san. Tenna.
No, no, no, no, no!
I can't. Okay, Ms. Kazu. I just need you to get back to the delivery while you still can.
Ahhhhh I'll take care of Amana-chan.

 She's supposed to be sweet on my daughter, and she urges me on, knowing that she'll hate me.
 I can't decide whether I should be grateful for that or feel guilty about it, but I have no choice but to do as I'm told, so I go straight back to the delivery truck.

 Feeling a tinge of guilt at the sound of Amana's crying, I drove off and headed for my next delivery.