Huh.........

　I went home and had a quick drink and then dove into bed with all my might from my back, letting out a sloppy breath as I thought back to the conversation I had with Kazu at the wedding party dinner.

　Even after answering his question, we broke up awkwardly, unable to continue the conversation in any way.

''........As expected, did he notice?　Ughhhhhhh!

　I was writhing around on the bed, unable to keep my composure with a complicated mix of anticipation and anxiety.

　This is something I've only told some of my colleagues in the corporate sales department, but I - Sakai Mao - like Hayakawa Kazu.
　I like him enough to be able to clearly say that he's a love interest.

　I met him about half a year after I joined the company.
　But in my mind, he was just one of many men.
　That all changed when I was serving my boss some sake at a year-end party in my first year with the company.

　I was drinking sake with my boss at a year-end party in my first year with the company, and he was persistently asking me for my contact information.
　It's not a matter of self-conceit, but I'm a good-looking man, and I'm popular because of my good looks, so I often get the attention of my boss.
　I usually ducked by coldly shunning them, but the person I was dealing with was my boss at work and I couldn't say no because I was afraid of the repercussions if I refused.

　When I was at a loss as to what to do, Kazu helped me out by distracting my boss's interest in me, as if he was used to it.
　From that point on, I knew he was just one of several peers, but as I began to talk to him more often, I realized that unlike the other s*xes, especially Miya, Kazu was not so stubborn, and therefore very comfortable.

　As a courier, it's hard to find time to spend with him, but the fact is that the little time we do have is what motivates me the most.

　Eventually we became friends and he told me that I could call him by his first name instead of his surname, which turned out to be "Yamato" instead of "Kazu", but I kept calling him that, and then, to my surprise, a rumor came out that he might be dating me!

　I couldn't help but feel my heart racing and my cheeks loosening at that, which I had assured myself would not normally be funny.
　It was painful and heartbreaking to deny to those around me who were making so much noise that it wasn't that kind of relationship.
　Then Kazu asked me, 'Do you want to go out with me like they say? What a joke he told me, and I realized that I liked him.

　But then I stared at him as quickly as I could because of my confusion about my feelings, and Kazu pulled back and the rumor never became true.

　I don't need to tell you that I was tortured with regret, wondering how I could have missed out on such a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
　After that, it was hard to approach him, and I was so frustrated that I didn't know what to do, when the unexpected happened.

"I want you to stroke my head again..........

　It was only about two weeks ago.
　I was resting in the break room, and I was so tired I dozed off and Kazu patted me on the head.

　He put his big hands on my head!
　At first I thought he was s*xually harassing someone, but he was too happy to know that Kazu-kun was the other person and struggled to keep his composure.

　According to him, 'I used to stroke my sister's head a lot,' but I think that familiar hand is the proof that he was quite spoiling her.
　Well, I was embarrassed to ask him to stroke me, so I haven't been able to stroke him since then.　

　But..........

"The person on the phone........I didn't know what kind of person he was after all.......

　When I tried to get up the courage to invite my junior, Yuki, to her wedding, Kazu-kun was on the phone with a woman I didn't know.
　I didn't understand what they were talking about, but the voice I heard was completely that of a woman.
　I was strangely unsettled and couldn't seem to calm down.

　Because lately, Kazu-kun has been doing extremely well.
　This is especially noticeable on the days when he finished his Tuesday and Friday deliveries, despite the fact that he was assigned to the delivery category that his senior colleague, who retired at the beginning of this month, was in charge of.
　While I was relieved that I had found some good way to relieve stress, I was also concerned that I had found someone I liked.

　It wasn't so much getting rid of stress as it was being healed by someone else...or something of that sort.

　But I didn't have much energy before I left for a delivery the day before yesterday, Tuesday.
　

　Anyway, I'm sure he's in good shape after getting to know the person on the other end of the phone.
　It's natural to wonder what kind of receptiveness and girl power he has to be able to cheer Kazu-kun up so much.

　So I took the opportunity of the wedding party dinner and stepped in.......but the result wasn't that different than before I asked.
　I don't know why I was shuddering, but it doesn't seem to be such a deep relationship.

　Maybe Miya-kun knows something about it.
　But you're so perceptive that your feelings for Kazu-kun are likely to be exposed, and I wouldn't want to get involved if I could.......

　I'm aware that I can't say such things at this point in time.
　But I'm sure he'll make fun of me for being a Miya-kun, so I'm sure he'll make fun of me.
　And so, in the end, we're back to square one.

''Ahhhh~~!

　Then I remember the marriage story I had with him and the answer I gave to his question.
　Just because I wanted Kazu-kun to be a little bit aware of me, that's not a good way to answer a question like that!

　I can't even have a conversation with him because of that, and I'm really just amazed at how stupid I am.
　I didn't know what kind of cao I should talk to Kazu-kun about tomorrow, and all I could do was hold my head in my hands.

　What he thinks and how he feels about me is a damsel-in-distress thing that I'm too old to think about, but right now I'm filled with a feeling that I don't want to know.
　Nevertheless, my love for Kazu is unwavering.

It's a good idea to be able to heal Kazu-kun like that person on the phone....

　It's very impossible for me to be honest and stiff even in front of someone I love.　
　Even though I know it's impossible, I still have a high desire to be that kind of person to him.
　To be honest, I'm jealous of the person on the phone.



　I'm going to self-medicate by saying that I may have had too much to drink by running my mouth about my strange desires.
　I'll think about what I'm going to do in the future, but let's just get to bed today.

　It doesn't take long before you decide to do so and fall asleep.

　I wondered if I would be able to see Kazu in my dreams.