362 361 words: "I want to see you again."




 Fialaert-la-Volgograd managed to quiet her racing heart and collapsed on her bed in her room. Her cheeks are slightly burning, and her breath is ragged.

 Her calm and collected thoughts were now running through her skull in a maelstrom. It was unlikely that she would be able to regain her composure for a while.

 What was ravaging his thoughts was what he had just finished talking about.

 The words of the Nines, Lugis' foster parents, still occupied Fialaat's chest with a strange weight and heat.

 --I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't raise him right. I should have taught him a little more about the world.

 As soon as Lugis left the room, the conversation began with such words from Nines.

 But to tell the truth, Fialaat doesn't remember much about it. He understands that the words were kind, but... But he couldn't remember what they said.

 At the time, Fialaat did not have the time to take in what was being said calmly. He still hadn't fully accepted what Lugis had said.

 Rougis' words. That means that he still hasn't forgotten about that witch, the High Priestess Alueno.

 The moment he said that, Fialaat understood that his black eyes were covered with an unbearable heat.

 His body began to grow cold from the edges, and he almost sobbed from the unknowable emotions of sorrow and indignation that welled up from the bottom of his guts. I realized for the first time that a person can make his own throat burn with a single thought.

 Because of this, Fialaat honestly did not have the time to chew on Nines' words. It was all he could do to keep himself standing straight. From the outside, he must have looked very weak.

 But Nines spoke as if he understood the feelings of Fialat, Kalia, and Philos.

 I'm glad he's growing up, but there are still things that need to be cut off. He added that this was only a suggestion.

 --When he has a child of his own, he'll settle down a little. Men are dreamers, but they get their feet on the ground with babies.

 Children. Offspring. Sons and daughters. There are many ways to say it, but that's what they are called.

 I'm going to put them between you and Lugis.

 For a moment, my reactions slowed. Fialat remembers feeling a hammering from the inside of his head.

 So that's what the Nines are talking about. That's it.

 In an instant, something that could not be described as confusion or anticipation began to flood Fialaat's chest. His throat choked involuntarily.

 As if seeing through it all, Nines continued.

 I'm not asking you to take advantage of the child, just to give Lugis a chance. We all need breaks and milestones to change. Then it's better to give it to him early. Sooner or later, you'll have children.

 Fialaat watched as Nines' lips lifted in a suggestive, yet infinitely gentle manner.

 --Once, when he had a cold, I gave him some mead to drink instead of medicine. He's grown quite fond of it since then. He'll sleep much better with it at night.

 The conversation was unconnected, but everyone in the room understood what Nines was trying to say. There were a few other conversations, but I don't remember them very well.

 Fialaert lay on the bed, resting his thin fingers on his forehead, and tried to catch his breath. His breath was still hot.

 I'm going to have a child with him.

 Of course, Fialaat does not want that. If I could have that with him, if I could have a home. How happy would that be? No, I'm not even sure how much.

 A sweet thought that was too much for Fialaert's hands. But at the same time, there was an inexplicable fear in his heart.

 Will he accept me when I try to be with him?

 Would he take the hand of another, and I would be rejected harshly? When that happens, what kind of expression should I make? At least, I don't feel as if I can be serious. I will probably end up in a mess.

 Anxiety, expectation, and conflict. These emotions swell and crawl around in Fialat's chest. It was as if he couldn't get his thoughts together. The only thing he knew was that there was a heavy stone inside him.

 But that didn't mean he could step on it. Fialat lay on the bed, his dark eyes narrowed.

 After all, he was not the only one who had been trained by the Nines. There were two more.

 One of them, the ruler, Philos-Treit, is not yet clear on how he will act. But perhaps he will hold back for now.

 Even though there was a moment when Lugis took his hand, Philos does not seem to be a person who likes to do things in a hurry. Rather, Fyarad understood that people who believe in order and justice value order.

 So, despite some confusion, she would not be making any immediate moves.

 But there was one other person. But there was another. Her silver hair waving in the air was reflected in the back of Fialaert's eyelids.

 I've known her less than a year. That's why I know her so well. She's the kind of person who, when she thinks of something, can act on it immediately.



 It was as if she had wings on her legs. Fialaat couldn't help but envy her.

 Fialaert understands that he is rather prone to thinking and therefore unable to act. If only he could be as active and noble as Kalia, how his life would be filled with brilliance. Even such thoughts were hidden in Fialaat's skull.

 She would take some kind of action this time, no matter what form it took. There is no doubt about it.

 Then what will I do then? Will I wrap my head around the bed and wait for him to come for me again?

 Will I then see someone and his child with my own eyes? His dark eyes bugged out and his phialic teeth bit down hard on his lips. My body is so hot I can't even feel the pain.

 That's the only thing I can't accept. I can't do that. Not to Kalia, not to Elddis. Not to Mattia, not to the woman who claimed to be his childhood friend, not to his future.

 They have other titles and brilliant talents. There must be some other way to live, of course.

 But not me. Fialaat gripped the sheets tightly. His slender fingers dug slightly into the bed.

 There's only one way I can hope and so live as me. There's only one way. Next to him.

 His dark eyes flickered and grew darker. I could see them growing deeper and darker still in the darkness that fell upon the room.

 --I don't need you, but you don't need me. Don't you think it's a terrible injustice, Lugis?

 It's too great a disparity. And therefore it must be righted.

 A smile appeared on Fialaat's cheeks, and vermilion appeared on his face. His breath was tinged with something other than emotion.