137 Thirteen-sixth "dominance




 --What is one to do when one doubts the existence of a being one should have believed in?

 Alueno's gold flickered at the words that escaped from Vestalynne's pale lips. He was about to ask her why. I was about to ask her what she meant.

 Yes, but I'm not qualified to do that now. Because the reason for the pain in my head is no different from Vestaline's anguish. If there is an answer to what I should do, I would like to hear it myself.

 The pain hit Alueno like a blade piercing first his chest, then his forehead, and then his extremities. The emotions that had been locked away in the depths of his heart for so long were now raging on the surface, pushing open the door again.

 He could see Vestalyn's eyes staring at him suspiciously, unable to speak. Alueno patted himself on the back, glad that the room was dimly lit. If the light had been on, he would have been able to see his pale face.

 But in the next moment, his expression was almost distorted. Fundamentally, the problem has not been solved at all. What kind of revelation should I give to her in her distress? That part I just can't figure out.

 What a mess. How can I expect to listen to someone else's problems when I can't even handle my own? The title of "candidate for sainthood" is too nominal. The title saddened her so much that she almost wept.

 Alueno's chest was stirred by repeated thoughts and emotions, and he was in a state that could not be called normal. As his mind wavered, even his vision began to wander as if he were intoxicated.

 But still. Even if it was only a title, the two names of the saint of divas supported Alueno.

 Yes, Vestaline was asking for his help right now. Then, I must give her salvation. Because even though I'm a candidate, I've been given the name of saint. Altius, the god of salvation, has said so. Ask for salvation, and I will give it to you.

 It is the role of a saint to give salvation to those who seek it. It's never about seeking salvation. Now that she's a candidate for sainthood, Alueno is not allowed to reach out for help.

 --Oh, of course not. It is the role of a saint to be asked for help and to give it.

 The moment I came to this conclusion, the pain in my head seemed to disappear. Her small lips naturally curved into a smile.

"Don't worry, Vesterine. I know exactly what you're going through. It's hard to have doubts about someone you care about. You don't want to doubt, but once you do, you can't help but think about it.

 She said to Vestalines as if she were a real saint. She must have looked like a saint at that moment. Alueno found it strange that the words came out of his mouth so naturally, but he was also somewhat satisfied.

 In his heart, there was a coexistence of himself who understood everything and himself who tilted his head to see if there was something wrong. Is it reason and instinct? Or is it something else entirely? Alueno couldn't figure it out.

 But there was one thing he did know. I've definitely found the answer.

"Then go after what you want. Doubt is not treachery. We all carry seeds of doubt in our hearts. But--

 Yes, we are weak. Everyone has doubts in their hearts at all times. Perhaps there have been saints in the past who have done so.

 But I believe that we are not so weak as to let that stop us.

I think it's more important than ever that we take action to get rid of it. Yeah, I don't mind. You don't want to spend all your time crying like a tragic actor, do you?

 I felt Vestalynne's lips tighten for a moment. I'm sure that deep in her heart, she's in an emotional turmoil, not knowing what to do with the words that have been spoken. Her heart was beating wildly, unable to make a choice.

 But if you look into her eyes, you will see. Alueno felt that Vestalines was already beginning to understand what he was saying. Because in her eyes, the kind of heat that she had always felt was beginning to grow again.

 I'm glad. From the bottom of my heart, I think. It seems I could at least imitate a saint. I could at least take the hand of someone who is depressed, someone who needs help.

Thank you, ....... Thank you, Mr. Alueno. I feel saved just by your words. Yes, it wasn't like me. Hiding in a dark room acting the part of a tragedy.

 Alueno smiled and thanked Vestalino for his kind words.

 Vestaline blinked her eyelashes suspiciously when she heard those words. It was as if she didn't understand the meaning of the words she had just received.

 But the words of gratitude were not meant to make up for the moment. Alueno was showing his gratitude to Vestalines from the bottom of his heart. It was because of her that he was able to get back on his feet.



 Yes, it was because of Vestalines that Alueno was able to find his way.

 Ridiculously, I continued to worry. About the betrayal of his childhood friend, Lugis.

 He told me that he would come for me in the cathedral, but he joined the heraldists and now he is my enemy and has taken the hand of another woman.

 It's sad. It's unacceptable. Just thinking about it makes my heart ache like a knife and something black crawls up from deep within my guts. The corners of my eyes naturally heat up.

 But now I understand the reason for this betrayal. My mind is at peace. It was all my fault, wasn't it? Why did Lugis betray me? I was running away from finding out why.

 I was trying to force myself to believe that everything was at his disposal, to force myself to accept my suspicions. It was so unworthy. That would not solve anything. The reason why Lugis left my hands...

 --I was simply unable to save her.

 Even though Lugis had been my salvation in the cathedral, I could not be his salvation. There must have been unreasonable things that tore at his heart, unbearable hardships, and I could not be the one to save him from them.

 That's why Lugis is now in heraldry. That is why Lugis is now in heraldry.

 I'm ashamed of myself. That I doubted him even a little. I'm ashamed that I questioned him, even a little. I guess it all stems from my inadequacy.

 Well, the rest is easy. I already know what I have to do. It's really quite simple.

 --Take everything away from Lugis and make me the only one who can help.

 Lugis is nothing but a human being. I know because I've been watching him since he was a child. There's something weak and fragile about him. There will be times when he will want to rely on something. There will be times when you want to reach for something. That's natural.

 At such times, he may accidentally seek help from something other than me.

 That would be a great misfortune and disaster for Lugis. You are making him make the wrong choice. In fact, even now, in the wrong choice of heraldry, Lugis is carrying the stigma of being a great sinner.

 Alueno's heart was refreshed. The sticky emotions had faded away, and there was only one glorious certainty.

 I will take everything away from you, Lugis. The heraldry, the guild, the status, everything. And when I'm all you have left to cling to, I'll gladly take your hand. I'll give you all the help you need. Yes, I'm willing.

 Just wait a moment, Lugis. I'm sorry my inadequacies have caused you such hardship. But I'm sure I'll give you more help than that in the end.

 In the darkness, no one could see Alueno's face, not even Vestalynn. But the expression on his face was the most beautiful and lustrous smile Alueno had ever shown anyone.